What Actually Happens in a Play Therapy Session?

I’m guessing that you’ve found this blogpost because you have a deeply-feeling kid. Your kid gets upset by seemingly mundane things: a classmate accidentally bumping into them, being told to get on their socks, or making a small mistake. Maybe your child struggles with transitions or goodbyes. Whatever the reason, you’ve probably heard of play therapy and are wondering if it might be just the thing to support your sensitive kid.

This post is all about what happens in a typical play therapy session and how play therapy helps sensitive kids manage their worries and big feelings!

A typical play therapy session with me in my St. Louis-based office looks like a combination of child-led play and a therapist-directed play-based activity. Typically for kids ages 3-5 I’ll lean more heavily on child-led play because young kids respond especially well to child-led play therapy. With older kids (10-12 years old), we may play more games, toss a beach ball while talking (this is so regulating for kids), or make art about their feelings or experiences. 

Child-led Play

During child-led play, kids have (developmentally appropriate) control over their own healing journey by choosing what they play with.

Children play out their life experiences, worries, fears, and frustrations. Kids can choose from any of the toys in the playroom to play with and get to play in most of the ways they want.

I hold necessary boundaries and engage therapeutically with the child by reflecting feelings, facilitating processing, and helping children trust and accept themselves.

Kids may gravitate towards the school bus, school house, and playmobile dolls. Or maybe they want to toss a ball around or play with the toy food. Lately, the sandtray, animals/bugs, and the chalkboard have been favorites of my clients.

Really, the possibilities are endless.

Sometimes play gets messy. Sometimes children play out an aggressive scene between two toys (I’ve seen many power ranger fights in my playroom). Sometimes the play is quiet.

And it’s all okay. Sometimes parents worry that their child shouldn’t make a mess or play out a fighting scene in my office. But this is the exact place children should get to make a mess and engage in aggressive play (safely, of course! I hold boundaries to ensure all people and toys stay safe).

When kids don’t have to think about cleaning up or filtering their play, they can express themselves, process big feelings, and learn new things about themselves.

Therapist-directed Play

For the therapist-led activities, I select an activity that will help the child move towards healing and growth. We learn about emotions and body sensations (through books or playful activities), practice coping skills to respond to life's challenges, and make art to express ourselves.

I love teaching children about the Window of Tolerance and their zones of regulation to help develop emotional intelligence. Some of my favorite coping skills come from EMDR therapy: the Butterfly Hug, Happy Place, and Team of Helpers.

Play therapy works so well for kids because play is the natural language of children. 

Even when children can talk in complete sentences, it’s still developmentally typical for kids to express themselves more fully through play than through verbal language. In play therapy, giving children a room full of toys is giving them the words they need to express themselves and process their challenges. 

Play therapy helps children learn new coping skills, develop self-esteem, process hurtful experiences, practice responding appropriately to boundaries, learn that their feelings are acceptable, and learn to express their feelings responsibility.

Looking for more support?

If your child has big worries and even bigger meltdowns play therapy can help! I have openings for child clients in St. Louis, MO. Reach out to chat about your child’s needs and to see if  play therapy is the right fit! You can schedule a free phone consultation on my website, or email me at brightdaystherapy@gmail.com.

Bright Days Ahead: Counseling and Play Therapy is located in Clayton, MO. Rachel Zahniser, LPC specializes in anxiety and trauma therapy for kids (3-12) who are big feelers and sensitive souls. I work with families throughout the St. Louis area including: University City, Ladue, Town and Country, Webster Groves, Creve Couer, Kirkwood, Richmond Heights, and Brentwood.