3 Books to Read with Your Child to Increase Emotional Intelligence
Your kid is a big feeler. You can see the big emotions on their face, in their body, and in the way they react when something makes them angry or excited. Maybe you’ve noticed that your kid feels things strongly, but doesn’t know how to talk about what’s going on inside. Maybe you’ve noticed that when you ask about how they’re feeling they give a short “good” and move on. Maybe you’ve noticed that your child shuts down when they feel upset. Maybe you’re wondering how you can help your kid feel more comfortable feeling their emotions and talking about their feelings.
Reading books about feelings is a great way to build comfort with talking about emotions. Plus, is there anything better than curling up on the couch with a snuggly kid and a good book?!
Here’s a few easy steps to set you up for success:
Choose fun books that present all feelings as valid and okay. As a play therapist, I am always reminding children and parents that there are no bad feelings. Sure, there are less kind or adaptive ways to express our anger, but anger itself is not bad. The books I recommend below definitely fit the bill!
Read with your child at a time when they are calm and regulated. Don’t pull out the book during the middle of a tantrum hoping it will calm your child down; that will probably just make them more frustrated. Talking about uncomfortable feelings (anger, sadness, shame, etc.) when we are calm builds tolerance and comfort to feel those feelings and to talk about them later.
Don’t put too much pressure on your kid to have big, deep conversations. Make it fun and remember that every book and every little conversation is contributing positively to their development!
Be responsive when your child initiates reading these books together. If your child brings a book to you at a time when you’re engaged in another task, respond with something along the lines of “I love reading this book with you! Right now I’m making dinner, but I can read it with you after I put this in the oven. I’ll come find you in 5 minutes.”
My favorite feelings books for elementary-aged kids:
The Color Monster: A Story About Emotions by Anna Llenas
This books follows a friendly monster whose feelings are all jumbled up. This little monster is struggling to make sense of the many feelings going on inside. With some help, the monster sorts through each emotion and feels at ease by understanding more about what is going on inside.
In My Heart: A Book of Feelings by Jo Witek
In this book, the main character notices all the different emotions in their heart. This little kid describes how these feelings feel on the inside and how they look on the outside. I love that this book includes a wide variety of emotions (hopeful, calm, heartbroken, brave), as well as the basic emotions (happy, sad, mad, scared).
Listening to My Body by Gabi Garcia
Written by a Licensed Professional Counselor, this book playfully explores the connection between body sensations and feelings, helping kids identify their needs with more ease and confidence. This book includes interactive questions throughout making it a great book to read with your child to increase emotional awareness and intelligence.
Hot tip: if you can’t find these books at your local library and don’t want to buy them, watch a read along on YouTube!
The Color Monster: A Story About Emotions by Anna Llenas
In My Heart: A Book of Feelings by Jo Witek
Listening to My Body by Gabi Garcia
Questions to ask your child during and after reading:
What page was your favorite?
How does happiness/sadness/anger/fear feel to you?
What things make you feel happy/sad/mad/tired?
What feeling have you been noticing in yourself the most lately?
Plus a little bonus! My very own toddler’s favorite book about feelings:
Emma: An Emotions Primer by Jennifer Adams with art by Alison Oliver
With toddlers, I recommend naming the feelings and acting them out. After you have read through the book several times with your little one, try asking them to act out the feelings with you. You can say:
Show me what your happy face looks like.
Show me a mad sound.
What do you look like when you’re tired?
I hope you feel inspired (and well-equipped) to read some feelings books with your child!
If you’ve had a growing sense that your sensitive, creative, amazing child is struggling and could benefit from play therapy, reach out and we can chat about your child’s needs and how play therapy can help! You can schedule a free phone consultation on my website, or email me at brightdaystherapy@gmail.com.
Bright Days Ahead: Counseling and Play Therapy is located in Clayton, MO. Rachel Zahniser, LPC specializes in anxiety and trauma therapy for kids and teens who are big feelers and sensitive souls. I work with families throughout the St. Louis area including: Clayton, University City, Ladue, Town and Country, Webster Groves, Creve Couer, Kirkwood, Richmond Heights, and Brentwood.
